I cant go a single day without cracking open a beer and feeling a need to get numb from this shitty life thats handed me nothing but problem after problem after headache. And its not just one. Some days I have a few less then usual if Im feeling good about something but that never lasts. Family tells me to just stop or see a doctor and I fight them on it since I dont want to go through with it and rather be numb to all the bullshit.My uncle died from liver cirrhosis and I feel like one day I'll end like he did.

I remember when I was younger he visited us and stayed over for a few days. One day we went for a walk together to buy food, and he stopped in a store and bought a small bottle and told me not to tell anyone and downed it real quick. We went back home and I thought nothing of it until a few days after he left my mom was talking to my dad about how happy she was he had stopped drinking and at least he's doing something better for himself. I blurted out "he didnt stop drinking, its just smaller bottles so its not as bad". That was a mistake since my mom was pissed. I regret ever saying anything and since she chewed him out on the phone. In the end when he was in the hospital they actually found a donor for him, but he told them if they give him a new liver he'll just drink it away anyway. He died a few days later and my mother hated him for that.